Two Little Girls
by LoveAnarchy
Summary: This is a story of undiscriminating love. A story of conquering hate, fear, pity, and self-loathing, to find happiness and freedom in a world where neither exists. This is Hermione Granger and her fight to find all three. Slight OOC, Femmeslash.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I do not anything JK Rowling already owns. Obviously.

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><p>The rain poured down on the heads of the Hogwarts students as they ran to catch the scarlet train. Shouts and bellows of 'I'll miss you' and 'have a good year' could be heard above the groans of the steam beast beginning its voyage. Suddenly with a piercing whistle the train took off at full speed; the platform full of waving families and mothers with handkerchiefs, dotting away tears.<p>

Inside the train, laughter carried down the long corridor. Children ran excitedly from carriage to carriage, shouting to their friends. All along the train, midst stormy weather, friends were reunited with friends, lovers kissed softly and housemates traded jokes and adventures. There was only a single haven of peace and quiet throughout the chaos. In the farthest carriage, the left-most corner there sat a curly-haired witch, who seemed lost in thought, oblivious to all that was going on around her. Elbow resting on the window ledge, chin wedged deep in a sweater covered arm, Hermione stared out at the dark horizon. 'Good omen' she thought morosely, brows furrowed as she watched the rain pound the glass pane. 'This is it,' Hermione sighed, dragging a long finger down the condensed window. Closing her eyes to the world, she drifted off to sleep, one hand buried deep in mahogany curls, the other clutching a letter to her lap.

With a bang and a jolt, the train slowed to a stop in Hogsmeade Village, and soon the platform was covered in a sea of black cloaks. The roar of voices awoke Hermione, however, the faint _"Hermione" _was the only lingering sound left over from another one of her dreams. Sitting up, she rubbed both eyes and realized that they were in fact at Hogsmeade, Jumping out of her seat, she grabbed the letter, a faded black pea coat, and her trunk before stumbling off the train. Looking around at the few remaining first years, Hermione scanned the almost empty platform for any remaining carriages. There were none.

"Well fuck," Hermione swore, glancing back and forth, hoping she had been mistaken. The rain petered down on her as she swung the pea coat over her enormous sweater, shoving the letter deep in the pockets. Steeling herself for the long walk, Hermione pulled the deep hood over her mop of hair, tucking it all back, and pulled out a cigarette. Cupping both hands to protect the already soggy smoke, she summoned a small flame to the end of her wand and proceeded to inhale the wonderful nicotine. Smiling for the first time since waking up that morning, Hermione sighed a sigh of relief and began the muddy trudge up to the castle.

Grimacing as her sneakers squelched through inch deep mud, Hermione walked onward, seeming no closer to the castle as before. Dropping the butt on the wet ground, she shoved her hands deep in the toasty pockets of her jacket. Feeling the corner of the muggle letter, its presence caused her stomach to roll, her throat to seize, and tears to roll. There it was, the last link to her humanity, her muggle life, all done in blue ball-point. There is nothing, Hermione had discovered, not even Voldemort, more frightening to the day when your parents change the locks, won't meet your eyes, because of who you are.

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><p><strong>AN**: Forgive the short chapter folks...I didn't want to go into flashback mode until next chapter. Don't worry though, they will be longer, that I can promise.

This story is lesbian, and OOC. It is 7th year. Everything will be explained. It is not Half-Blood compatible, nor Deathly Hollows.

Thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I obviously do not own anything by JK Rowling.

A/N: On a side note. This story is inspired by a few different Ani DiFranco songs. No this is not a song fic, there will be no inserted lyrics, or singing to piano.. I find that sort of stuff obnoxious and annoying unless done well. However, Ani Difranco is what I listen to when I write, hence the title of the story. So take a listen if you want to understand where the story may or may not be going. Its not necessary, but who knows, you might actually like the music. There's a plus.

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><p>Chapter Two: Three Days Previous<p>

Hermione giggled happily, the booze had worked its way through her system and she felt free and alive. Her swinging, stumbling gait was matched by another girl, also inebriated. They were tottering along to Hermione's parents house after a rather interesting house party thrown by one of Hermione's muggle friends. It was close to dawn, the morning dew just settling on the grass with the faint chirping of birds, and a pink sky above them. The girl she was with paused in the middle of the deserted street, glancing at the horizon. Leaning on Hermione, she wrapped pale arms around her petite waist from behind, buried her face in Hermione's curls and whispered in her ear.

"Look love, see the sky, isn't it beautiful first thing in morning?" Her voice was soft velvet as Hermione gazed up at the rising sun. Turning to face the girl, Hermione whispered back,

"Not as beautiful as you," she smirked before kissing the girl softly on her full rose lips, and molding into the delicate warmth before her.

"C'mon, lets head inside,' the girl giggled, 'I'm not so fond of you in clothes right now," before placing long pale fingers under the top of Hermione's ripped black jeans. Hermione grabbed her hand, leading the girl into one of the numerous brownstones that ran the length of the street. Quietly she inserted her key, turning the lock gently, and slowly pushed open the door. Both girls hurried inside, desperately trying to make as little noise as possible. They crept up the stairs, grimacing at the creaks and sighs of ancient wood. Pausing at the top of the stairs, Hermione grasped the girls hand tighter, waiting for the tell tale snores. Smiling at the loud roar from her parents room, Hermione lead the girl to another room at the end of the hall. Shutting the door quietly, Hermione giggled again.

"Home, finally," she said before settling on a squashy queen bed with the red and gold of a Gryffindor duvet. Pulling off her sneakers, she grabbed the other girl's waistband.

"So your still wearing clothes, hmmm, we should fix that," quickly and deftly Hermione removed the other girls clothes and her own. Until all that was left naked flesh. The girl was beautiful, her skin was creamy white, where as Hermione's was a faint golden brown. Her hair was silky and black, long and straight. The thing Hermione loved the most however, was her eyes, they sparkled a sea foam grey, beautiful and full of light.

The girl climbed past Hermione, into the gigantic comfy bed,

"you coming to bed?" She asked innocently, patting the empty spot next to her. Hermione grinned before sliding beneath gold sheets, landing almost on top of the girl. Slowly she played with a strand of hair that was curled on the girl's breast, watching her chest rise and fall, her nipples swollen and wanting. Gently, she tucked the lock behind the girl's ear, before kissing her, this time passionately and forcefully.

Hermione awoke the next morning to sound quite unlike any other. The sun beating into the tiny room burned her bleary eyes as she stared at the aghast woman before her.

"Morning mum, what time is it?" Hermione questioned sleepily, unaware of the horrified look fleeting across her mothers face, or that the Gryffindor duvet was snugly wrapped around only the other girl's waist. Leaving her bare from the navel up.

"Ermm its..ahh seven-thirty, may I ask who your guest is?" Hermione's mother sputtered, trying to regain composure. Hermione's eyes widened as the neurons started firing away, quickly she looked over her shoulder, grimacing at the sight her mother had been privy to. '_Shit shit shit shit, do I lie? Too late. What do I say? Oh hey mom this is my girlfriend and oh yeah no more grand-kids for you. Fuck it. Okay Hermione, time to wing it.' _Hermione squeezed aching eyes closed, head pounding as she weighed her options. The girl in question chose this time to gracelessly roll over, mouth open wide as she breathed toxic morning-after-drinking fumes directly at Hermione's mother. Mother wrinkled her nose in disgust as the foul stench washed over her, making only small 'tut tut' noises in anger. Hermione knew there was no saving face, no more lies and back-pedals. There was no covering her ass this time.

"Mom, this is Charlotte, she's my girlfriend," Hermione stated quietly, watching as hell-fires rose before her, to come and blacken her flesh, wound her in the name of redemption.

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><p>AN: Hello everyone. I have to say I was shocked, and pleased by the amount of followers and favorites..it was strange. I have to apologize for the delay in updating and the shortness of the Chapter. I, the idiot I am, managed to get another job. So now I spend 15 - 16 hours a day working and the rest sleeping. Updates will be in short spurts not so often, but I will try more often to post. Believe it.

On another note, I am just letting everyone know..the reason there is no sex scene will be played out later on. It, is however, rated M for a reason, so deal with it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything obviously!

**A/N: **Well, I'm back, it only took how long, writers block sucks ass.

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><p>The light from the Great Hall danced shadows on the wet grass as Hermione walked up the lawn towards the gigantic oak doors. Her footsteps were dogged with indecision, doubts playing games with her mind. Facing the other students, she reckoned, would never be as terrifying as her mother "that day". This was the sole driving force behind Hermione's slow uneven steps. The only thing she looked forward to was the beginning of classes, and her warm four-poster bed. Classes would become an escape route for all that had happened, and bed where she would spend all of her free time.<p>

As for Harry and Ron, Hermione couldn't even think of them now. Her mistreatment of them, Ron in particular was an open wound in her stomach, a dull ache reverberating somewhere around her heart. She had purposefully ignored them this summer, opting to spend time with Char, ignoring their urgent letters, Harry's constant 'We are AT WAR' she dutifully pounded out of her mind with alcohol. Ron was a delicate issue, how could she tell a man that obviously loved her that she couldn't love him back, that is wasn't in her make-up. 'Maybe, just maybe' Hermione thought intently as she squelched onward in the twilight, 'we can pretend all is as it was before, maybe they won't need to know, chin up Hermione, smile big and you'll fool 'em all.' With her decision firmly in place, her footsteps sped up, her back straightened and the enormous stone steps crept ever closer.

Closing a petite feminine palm on the bronze plated knob, Hermione gave the oak door a gentle push, praying it wouldn't squeak. Silent as a whisper the door slid open, warmed air rushed out with the sound of voices, laughter and the smell of food. Hermione smiled for the first time in what seemed like years, but had only been days. 'Home' she smiled wider at the thought.

Quietly Hermione stepped onto the warm luscious marble. Her footsteps consumed by the sounds of the Great Hall as she crept slowly forward. Trying with all her might not to attract any attention, Hermione slid quietly along the stone wall, her nails creating a faint _click click_ as they passed across the rough hewn wall. As the warm light bleached Hermione's face she closed her eyes and leaned away. Opening her eyes, she glanced at the head table, there Professors seemed unaware of her. 'Thank my lucky stars' she smiled, heading towards the Gryffindor table.

"Ah Miss Granger, so glad you arrived safely, I'm going to have a word with Hagrid about the Thestrals" Dumbledore's quiet murmur cut through the massive hall, his eyes twinkling as she turned to look at the Professors table. The chatter had all but died, and all eyes were glaring at her. Flinching slightly as the questions blazed through her and a whispery conversation began, Hermione straightened her back, pushed her head down towards the floor, and muttered "Sorry".

"Ah my dear that is unnecessary, it wasn't your fault , you're here now, no harm done. I suggest you go sit next to your friends though, looks as if he may launch out of his seat in a moment, and we don't want that." Dumbledore chuckled merrily as Hermione glanced back at Harry and Ron, they both smiled and waved at her, Ron in particular looked eager to see her. Her gaze then slid to Ginny, someone who she was generally happy to see, her best girl friend. Smiling at the sight of the petite redhead, Hermione headed quickly to the Gryffindor table, her spirits lifted.

Throwing herself into Harry's warm hug, Hermione smiled wider, she was home finally. Sitting on the bench, she turned to Ron, her eyes careful not to meet his loving look. Quickly he smothered her in a hug, Hermione cringed at the length, but pushed him off with a laugh.

"Ron, Ron, RON, let me go, I can't breath," Hermione laughed as he sheepishly turned away.

"Sorry Mione, I just, I missed you," he murmured, cheeks competing with his hair. Hermione smiled then, a pang of sadness flitting over her features,

"S'okay" she said with full conviction. Turning to the vast table, Hermione started to load a plate full with salad and chicken, glancing up a Ginny with a wink, the knowing smile of we'll talk later.

"So Mione how was your summer? We missed you at the burrow." Harry questioned, eyebrows raised.

"Ya Mione where were you? I never even got a letter!' Ron exclaimed, 'and look at your hair! Why is it so dark?"

Hermione just laughed at the questions,

"my summer was okay, sorry I didn't write, I just had loads of stuff going on. I ended up studying mostly. It was boring, but my parents seemed happy to have me home for a change." The lies came easily, almost to easy, and suddenly Hermione wasn't hungry anymore. _'Why can't I just fucking just tell them the truth, their my friends they will support me. They have to right? These guys are my family.' _What she didn't tell them was that her summer was the summer of Char and Hermione, that it had been a drunken stoned haze, that she smoked cigarettes, swore like a sailor, and partied hard. They didn't need to know that Hermione had been this way for years, that she put her hair down every chance and liked to keep it that way. Mione was for school, days at the Burrow, fighting the war; Hermione was for all the after times.

She couldn't eat the chicken in front of her anymore, pushing it around in minuscule circles. She could feel the boys next to her taking her answers as 'typical Mione'. Yet Hermione could still feel eyes on her, looking up quickly, she saw Ginny staring at her plate, watching the small neurotic circles the fork made. "Later" Hermione mouthed quickly, and Ginny just nodded, their unspoken girlish agreement. Hermione went diligently back to her chicken circles, drifting off.

_Hermione's mother waited politely outside the door for Hermione and Charlotte to get dressed. As they did neither spoke, passing glances and small giggles, touching hands briefly. Once both had dressed, composed themselves, Hermione reached for the door. Issuing Charlotte out first, she didn't see the note Char slipped onto her bed, nor would she until that night._

_Hermione's mother stood in their way however,_

"_Now my dear…Charlotte is it? Your leaving, now, don't come back, ever!" Hermione's mother screamed, grabbing Char's arm and pulling her towards the door._

"_No mom! Don't do this! I love her!" Hermione yelled, yanking on Char's other arm._

"_Hermione, go sit in the study, we will talk about talk this later," it wasn't the words that stopped Hermione cold, it was the tone, and the look. She had no choice but to be the dutiful daughter once again._

"_S'okay Love, I'll be back before you know it," Char winked, and Hermione had never pegged her for a liar, but in that moment she doubted her. 'I love you' Hermione mouthed, Char just nodded before the door was slammed in her face._

"_Mom!" Hermione screamed, _

"_What, honey, what? You don't want that, that is for those freaks down the road, but let's not talk about this anymore, how's some breakfast sound?" Her mother smiled briefly before moving past Hermione into the tiny kitchen, the only telltale sign of her true emotions was the vicious banging of pots and pans. Hermione sighed before shuffling into the kitchen. _

_It was only later that night when Hermione collapsed into bed that she saw the note from Char. She opened it and the tears started to fall. Clutching her pillow tightly, Hermione felt her heart fall on the floor, watched as it flopped and lay still._

_**Love, **_

_**I'm sorry, but I can't be with you anymore. Your leaving for school and I know it just won't work. We had fun. Please forget about me and go be happy, go meet other girls. I will miss you, you were best friend.**_

_**Cheers,**_

_**Char**_

_**xxxxxxxxxxx**_

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><p><strong>AN: **Well, there you have it...the third chapter, its movin_**g **_slow I know...patience my pretties for there will be more.. as per usual..its M for a reason, lesbian, and there, so just fucking deal!_**  
><strong>_


	4. Chapter 4: Swan Dive

**A/N: **Evenin folks. I know its been a while...Blah blah blah blah. What. Ever. News...all chapters will be named after an Ani Song. Figure it out yourselves.

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: Swan Dive<strong>

"Ah another excellent feast, but before I send everyone of into the land of dreams, I have a few announcements to make, for all our first years and a few of us that like to forget the rules, the forbidden forest is out-of-bounds to any student who does not wish harm upon themselves, and there is a fresh list of contraband carefully provided by our caretaker Mr. Filch, it will be posted on his door for the rest of the year, I advise you all however, assume all Weasley products are banned. Except the Canary Creams as they make such an excellent treat," Dumbledore gleefully retorted. Harry and Ron proceeded to roll their eyes at Dumbledore's words, knowing them off by heart.

"And last, but not least, the Head Boy this year is to be Draco Malfoy, and the Head Girl is Lavender Brown, would both of you join me in my office after the feast so we can go over the details, That is all, everyone have a good nights rest, sleep tight." None of the 7th year Gryffindor's moved an inch except Lavender who ecstatically jumped up, a smug look pressed into her prim face, looks of outrage covered each of their faces and a angry whisper could be heard.

"Lavender, really, REALLY?' Harry's voice contorted in rage, 'why wasn't it you Mione? You are far more intelligent, brightest witch of our age!"

"Hmmm, yes, what Harry? Sorry?" Hermione whispered, coming out of her daze.

"I said, why weren't you made Head Girl, and why is that git Malfoy head boy?" Harry's voice rose an octave.

"I didn't want to be Head Girl, I received the letter two weeks ago, but I turned it down because I don't want the responsibility, and Malfoy, that I do not know," Hermione's voice broke in that moment, it was halved and she almost collapsed in a fit of tears. Ginny was the only one who noticed this, Harry oblivious to her pain, and Ron staring daggers at Malfoy. Ginny raised an eyebrow, noticing the shake of Hermione's shoulders, her soft ragged breath and the tears pooling in each corner of her warm hazel eyes; lightly grabbing her hand, Ginny smiled at Hermione, squeezing her fingers in comfort. 'Later' was her glance said, _pain_ is what her eyes said, that and loss.

"Why Mione? Isn't that what you strived for?" Harry seemingly shouted. It was those words that snapped Hermione in half, her body suddenly hunched to cover herself, clutching her stomach in pain. She stood up, turning to look down at Harry,

"For your information Harry there is more to life than good grades and getting to be a prefect! You of all people should know that, and is it really any of your business?" Hermione spat back, her retort causing heads to turn in her direction. Grabbing her coat, she stomped off towards Gryffindor tower.

"Wonder what's got her knickers in a knot.." Ron mumbled after finally coming round to the scene playing out before him.

"Dunno mate," Harry said with the shrug. Ginny, however, stared at the empty space that had held Hermione's petite frame, brows knitted together in concern.

Herminoe's footsteps were heavy, her anger fanning in waves as she brushed past the hordes of students giggling and happy to be reunited with their friends. Echoing in her head were the combined voices of Harry and her mother, her mothers last words to her pulsing somewhere around her spine, forcing her bent pose, Harry's words causing an anger that was unfamiliar, vibrating through her core.

Reaching the portrait of the Fat Lady, Hermione was lost, she didn't know the password, her head swam with pain, her eyes blazed red, and she wanted was the bottle of rum stashed under her bed, a present from Char, a parting gift; at this Hermione snorted. '_Some parting gift, oh gee thanks-for-for-the-good-fuck, hope you have good life, here's a bottle of rum to ease your sorrows.' _

Slumping against the wall Hermione fingered the crumpled note, the tears were threatening to overflow, and all she wanted to do was punch something, violently. She stayed in that spot for what seemed like hours, but surely could only have been minutes before she heard the telltale sounds of students thundering up the stairs. Wiping her eyes quickly, Hermione braced herself for the crowd of Gryffindors coming her way. Lavender was the first up, noticing Hermione she politely nodded and said the password _Thistlewhistle. _The Fat Lady opened merrily, waving both girls inside. Hermione began to head for the comfort of her bed before the rest of the students showed up when Lavender grabbed her shoulder.

Turning to face the Head Girl, Hermione forced a half-smile on her face, Lavender had a nervous look about her before beginning to speak.

"Hermione, I-I just wanted to say thank you,' Lavender sputtered,

"For what?" Hermione asked, full of genuine shock.

"I know you turned down the position, and I know you recommended the Headmaster give it to me." Hermione smiled as Lavender spoke,

"It is I who should be thanking you, Lav, I really couldn't have done it, and I knew that you would enjoy it, thank you." Both girls smiled at each other, however, the moment was cut short by the thin eleven year old voices coming up the stairs.

"Gotta go Mione, duty calls," Lavender smirked and rolled her eyes,

"Go get'em, I know you'll be great." Hermione said, glad that she had done some good in the world, finally. Lavender let go of her shoulder and turned to the hall, shutting the portrait behind her. Hermione refocused on the task at hand, getting upstairs to the rum.

Running up the flight of stairs to the 7th year girls dormitory Hermione could feel her head spinning. It was all too much to handle, Ron and Harry's disbelief in her, her parents, Char. She just wanted it all to stop, even for a moment, she wanted some peace.

Reaching the familiar door with its rusty brass knob, Hermione felt her breath coming in shorter, anxiety setting in. Stepping over the threshold Hermione took a deep breath, there is was, home, finally. It had been too long, a lifetime since June.

Quietly Hermione stumbled to the trunk, frantically prying at the lock before the 7th year girls walked in. Her fingers clumsily fighting to work the secret spell she had put on it, she started to sweat at the sound of familiar giggles inching slowly closer. The lock sprung open after the ten-thousandth attempt, and Hermione wiped the sweat off her brow before burrowing a hand in. There it was, her savior in its glass bottle, the tag still attached to the Pin-up Girl label. A furtive smile played on her lips before shoving the bottle into the inside of her zip-up sweater.

She took the steps down to the common room two-at-a-time, pushing her way through the gaggle of students, careful to hug the rum against her body. Hermione's feet seemed to be moving on their own accord, her mind was far and away. They knew the path to the Astronomy Tower better than she did.

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><p><strong>AN: There your go.**


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